I Didn’t Realize Growth Could Leave Me This Exhausted

What I learned about slowing down before self-improvement burns you out

I thought I was just tired from a busy Easter weekend.

A few days of family events and broken routines. I figured a good night’s sleep would fix it. But by the middle of the week, I was still exhausted. It was not the kind of tired that rest could solve.

I knew it was not about having too much to do. I have been careful lately to give myself space and avoid overloading my schedule. This was something else. I just didn't know what.

When Growth Becomes Another To-Do List

On Wednesday I came across an essay called I Rushed My Transformation and Paid the Price. It made me pause. It described how easy it is to chase growth and keep pushing for progress without giving yourself time to absorb any of it.

That was when it clicked. Growth is not just about learning new things or having insights. At some point, you have to stop and let those changes sink in. You have to embody them. Review what you have learned. Practice it. Give it time to become part of how you live.

I realized I had been focused on figuring things out and making progress but I had not given myself space to integrate any of it.

Seeing the Invisible Workload

I knew I had a lot on my mind but I could not see it clearly. I was too drained to untangle it on my own so I asked ChatGPT to help me review my journal entries from the past week.

It found seven major emotional open loops. Seven big areas of inner work I had been processing without realizing how much energy it was taking.

As I read through them I kept nodding. Each one was accurate. But seeing them all listed out made it obvious why I felt so wiped out.

I also noticed something else. I was not stuck. I had made real progress. The problem was not that I needed to push harder. I needed to stop and let that progress settle.

Letting Progress Sink In

It is easy to think that growth means always working on yourself. Always fixing. Always moving forward. But sometimes the real work is knowing when to pause.

You cannot rush transformation. At some point, you have to stop searching for the next breakthrough and start living the lessons you have already uncovered.

If you are feeling drained but you cannot point to anything obvious, ask yourself if you are carrying too many emotional open loops. You might not need to figure out more. You might just need to give yourself time to embody what you already know.