How I’m Trying to Learn Before It’s Too Late
At 43, I’m not scared of dying. I’m scared of wasting time.
Neil deGrasse Tyson says mortality gives life meaning. I think it robs us of ambition.
As I get older, I have less time left, and because of that, I can’t take the wild swings I would have when I was younger. What I prioritize to work on becomes much more important, and the feeling that if I’m going to work on a project, I need to “get it right” so I’m not wasting my limited time.
There is also a growing list of things that I find interesting, but I’ll never do them because I don’t feel like there is enough time left to realize its benefits. For instance, as a software developer, I’ve thought it might be fun to create a point-and-click adventure game like Maniac Mansion. But at this point in my life, I think, “What’s the point?”
I’m disillusioned with software development, and I have no experience with game design, either technically or creatively. It might be fun, but there are better ways to spend my time right now.
I previously talked about my SHELL Framework, where I score perspective projects on the basis of Speed, Heart, Effort, Longevity, and Leverage, and building an adventure game would score very low.
Speed: 1 - This is neither a quick project nor a long-term project with a minimal weekly commitment.
Heart: 2 - I’d have fun with the creative part, but the technical side would be tedious.
Effort: 1 - So much effort. Even if I used an off-the-shelf platform like Adventure Game Studio, there is a lot to learn.
Longevity: 1 - At best, I’d make one game. I’m not looking to turn this into a career.
Leverage: 1 - No relation to any other project or goal I have.
In fact, there is a study that showed that “as future time becomes more limited with age, curiosity is less valued; hence, curiosity is negatively associated with the advance of age.”
That’s right. As you get older and see the amount of time you have left diminish, you’re less interested in learning new things. It goes on to say that “older adults tend to prioritize emotionally meaningful goals over instrumental or knowledge-related goals.”
But this is super depressing. I don’t want to lose my intellectual curiosity. I don’t want to turn into my mother, who has zero interest in learning new things. She’s perfectly happy sitting on her couch watching TV, waiting until she dies.
My Good Fight
I’m not ready to give up. I’m only 43, and assuming nothing catastrophic happens, I hope to have at least another good 40-50 years (hopefully much more) ahead of me.
I have two big goals/projects that I’m working on this year:
iCanStudy is a course I’ve mentioned that I’m currently enrolled in. My primary goal in taking this course is “to overcome my sieve-like brain and learn quickly and effectively.” I have a very difficult time retaining anything after reading a book or taking a course. This is not conducive to using my remaining years effectively.
Working through The Well Educated Mind by Susan Wise Bauer. My primary goal in working through this course (in book form) is to develop my ability to focus (especially when reading), tackle difficult texts, and actually digest and form new opinions from what I’m reading (as opposed to passively consuming). This focuses on reading classic literature in fiction, history, autobiographies, drama, poetry, and science. I’m starting out by reading Don Quixote. Additionally, my hope is that by reading classical literature (especially philosophy), I’ll develop not only knowledge but wisdom.
Both of these goals score highly on the SHELL Framework. Not only am I very interested (Heart), but the ongoing weekly commitment and effort are manageable, and the long-term benefits and leverage are high. Learning to learn and read well will multiply all other future projects.
Allegedly, Gandhi said, “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever,” which seems like pretty good advice.
I’m not ready to fade into routine. I want to keep learning, keep building, and stay curious for as long as I can. I hope I get more time. If I ever do end up living forever as a robot in space, I want to be the kind that never stops learning.
If this hit a nerve or made you think about how you spend your time, please share it or let me know what you’re working on. I’d like to hear.
Learning is a key component when we want to keep our brain's neuroplasticity healthy, for when we grow old. 😃